There were days when I signed up for a gym, exercised daily, stopped eating carbs for quite some time just to achieve weight goals, getting skinnier, etc. Then I realized that I can't demand my body to be someone or something that I am not. I can't be skinny thin or fully-toned, so I don't have to be. I can't have long well-maintained hair, so I don't have to have it. It's all because I can't fit each one you guys inside my body and it's because I am me.
Thankfully that thought makes me appreciate myself and others too. With all the best I can, I try not to say something that might be hurtful such as 'Oh you look a bit chubbier', 'Did you gain weight?' 'Your arms are so big!', 'You should lose some weight', 'You are fat' or maybe.. 'Oh my, I am so fat'.
I've seen someone got so sad and cried many times because some people insulted her appearance. She even asked me 'What's wrong with having a body like mine?', 'Do they actually think about what I feel?'. You know what, she has naturally curvy body types and I envy that. To be exact, she is not even THAT fat. I don't get it why she was being called as 'fat' a lot, but you know, society. Whether they said it intentionally or unintentionally, in the end they did not care. So I told her 'No, they did not care about your feeling. You don't need to prove them anything, just be tough and do anything you like if it leads you to be a better person'. Even me for example, after feeling comfortable enough with my body, there are still people who think that I'm too thin, I'm too fat, I'm not toned enough, I eat too much and all those stuff. If I seriously listen to those opinion, I'd go crazy and I'd definitely go on to a dark road called 'self-hate'. But thank goodness instead of taking it personally, I decided to grow and have thicker skin. Because there are things that we can't control, such as someone else's opinion. Let them say what they wan't, it doesn't matter anymore to me :P. You know, there's a saying 'Once you accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you' and that's 100% true. (But remember, never let those flaws or bad things lead you to a negative life!)
Yup. I'm normal human being, even after years of learning, accepting and appreciating, I will still lose or gain weights, have dark circles under my eyes, have muffin tops, have flabby arms, have bad hair days or bad days in general. But you know, I constantly remind myself that I've come a very long way to be and feel as I am today, so I am not giving it up by 'abusing' myself and others who might be struggling. I am not giving it all up by not feeling enough with what I have. So I decided to do whatever I'm comfortable with; eat and exercise in moderation, drinks lots of water and love my skin in anyways.
Besides all that, I'm blessed that I have wonderful support systems. My sisters with our different body types, my parents and fiancé who tell me that beauty comes from souls. But remember, those things don't matter if I don't support myself and I am beyond grateful that I'm able to appreciate and embrace all the goods and the bad in me. As long as I'm happy, healthy and doesn't do any harm, I believe that the rest will follow. In the end, I don't want to be someone who seeks to much and savours so little. I am full with what I've given and received, therefor I'm enough.
